I have not blogged in close to a year. I could tell you I got busy (true story) or didn’t have anything that felt newsworthy enough to write about (also true), but honestly, it was subconscious avoidance.
Blogging was beginning to feel kind of whiny.
I could have done the long run-down of posts playing out how we processed through our time in Egypt, but that felt pretty self-indulgent, and if there is anything the world could use less of right now it’s self-indulgence (and probably Twitter). Plus I was avoiding processing through Egypt at all because it was hard and I just wanted to put it behind me and get back to work.
Head down, earbuds in, everyone leave me alone, please.
Anyway, I did try to write posts several times through the year but I always closed the laptop and backed away from what struck me as just a brain dump of all the feels. I could not (still can’t) shake the feeling that if our main aim as Christians and missionaries is to “know Him and make Him known” then writing how I feel about all the things is missing the point entirely and drawing all the attention to myself. In the words of the fish school in Finding Nemo, “Blah, blah, blah, me, me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, me, me, me!”
And I couldn’t just go with humor because nothing funny happened last year after my big win at the Colorado Downtown Pavement Surfing Championships. Or perhaps it did, I just can’t remember. Or cannot hear it over the tinnitus I was left with. That was a really hard hit on the noggin.
The unfortunate result of all this is that I didn’t think about Egypt enough and I went on two project trips that would have been far more impactful had I bothered to give them some brain and emotional space and energy. Blogging is a huge help to me in working through all the thoughts and allowing God to speak through the experiences. I can see and hear Him better when I am trying to put words into a form that I think will be readable and relatable to others. Things get compressed, reshaped, extruded into something new and revelatory. I head out on the next project trip in better mental shape to experience more and to Know Him and Make Him Known. I tote that around with me in my everyday life too.
So anyway, this is my relaunch into what I hope will be a more regular bit of posting. I’ll probably end up writing about Egypt a lot in addition to project trips, our work here in the US office, homeschooling, and getting into my favorite cathedral - Creation. Maybe I will even go back and work through stuff from last year that we never shared. It will be a real mish-mash of all the things because that is where God resides and speaks and moves. We only have to be listening.
Eyes up, ears open, speak, Dear LORD.
We are missionaries with Engineering Ministries International, based in Colorado Springs, and traveling around the globe to serve.
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