As I shared yesterday, we did a Whole 30 eating plan in the month of January. Since I knew I could not keep up with all the prep and planning and cooking and still have time leftover to blog daily or even weekly, I decided to compile it all into one post. Read on for my daily brain dump.
Day 1: It could have started better. Failed at the breakfast frittata and also at homemade mayonnaise. Egg salad lettuce wraps I had planned for lunch required the homemade mayo so it’s not even 8:00 a.m. and already losing big. At least my menu is totes adorbs.
Day 2: Couldn’t bear to toss out the $4 worth of olive oil and 4 eggs from failed mayonnaise so googled to find a way to salvage it. Found several ideas, none of which worked but added in MORE olive oil and eggs so now just want to throw knives. Tried refining Internet search. Googled, “does altitude wreck homemade mayonnaise” and top hit was this passage from the novel The Last Painting of Sara de Vos, by Dominic Smith:
“She never complains about the train wreck that is the human body named Marty….barely anything reminds him of death — certainly not the high altitude flushing of bodily waste….He suspects his final monologue will be about property taxes and a transcendent fish sandwich he once ate in Far Rockaway with homemade mayonnaise.”
Really. Not making that up.
Day 3: Sitting down to yummy Greek salad, topped with rotisserie chicken and hard-boiled egg. Joel says, “You have a colorful salad. It looks disappointing.” He also called my chocolate date bars “fudge for sad people.”
Day 4: Occurred to me this morning there are only so many things you can do with eggs, sweet potatoes, and an avocado. Sort of like Mexican food - it’s really all the same stuff, just a matter of how you wrap the tortilla. Speaking of Mexican food, I could totally go for some cheese enchiladas right now.
Day 5: SO. MANY. EGGS.
Day 6: That communion cracker tasted like the Second Coming.
Day 7: This is the best thing ever! I feel amazing!
Days 8 and 9: This is the worst thing ever. Whyyyyyyyy do people do this?
Day 10: The cat walks too loudly. My walls are so beige. Colorado is too Colorado-y. And I hate elephants.
Day 11: I think I’ll climb Pikes Peak today. I’m pretty sure if I head out now I could be back down before lunch time. I could still get my errands done, about 3 hours of video work in, grade papers, and draft that healthcare reform bill I’ve been brainstorming. Oh, and the cat needs a bath.
Day 12: I dreamed about Dr. Pepper. I could actually taste it in my sleep. The next night it was bread. Warm, crusty, crackly French bread. Except this time I was not quite asleep, just most of the way there.
Day 13: That communion cracker though.
Days 14-18: Spend lots of time browsing the Internet for new recipes. Found a website where the author actually suggests that lettuce is “nature’s tortilla.” Seriously? Get a life.
Also, chia is weird. I don’t know if I’m having difficulty eating this stuff because I had a few Chia Pets back in the day (don’t judge). I don’t mind crunchy small seeds, but it sticks to everything. I used the food processor to mix my “pudding” last night and the seeds were all over the blade and wouldn’t come off. I got in there with the sponge and now the seeds won’t come off that. And they’re all in my teeth too, even after brushing. If tomorrow morning we find we have Chia Sponge in the kitchen, fine, but I don’t know if I can handle Chia Smile.
Day 19: Stupid sweet potatoes and your stupidy stupidness. You make crummy BBQ sauce.
Day 20: I wonder if I can find out what brand of cracker the church buys for communion.
Days 21-25: I’ve decided lettuce is God’s way of trying to make us understand that in a fallen world all things are broken and sad. Even food did not get away unscathed. But overall, I am feeling so good and enjoying most of the meals we’ve tried enough that I think we might have to keep this up.
Day 26: We have to go to a birthday party tonight. And to make matters worse, it’s my own child who is making the birthday cake. Chocolate. With cream cheese frosting. And the hosts are people who always serve really, really good wine. Kevin just yelled, "Whole 26, baby!"
Day 27: The interns wanted to hike the Manitou Incline so we jumped right in with them. Two thousand feet of vertical gain over 1 mile. So an average grade of like 40%. And I felt pretty great the whole time. The way down was a different matter. Because noodle knees. I miss noodles.
Day 28: Got up at 6:00 and went to the climbing gym. I did not feel miserable and like I should stay in bed just because my legs were a bit sore from the Incline. This is not like me. Must be the vegetables. The Tiger Blood thing is for real.
Days 29 and 30: I can taste the finish line. It tastes like some nice, crusty and crackly French bread. And chocolate.
We are missionaries with Engineering Ministries International, based in Colorado Springs, and traveling around the globe to serve.
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